A Broken Marriage
In Sept 1998 I met My Husband, he was My Cable Guy... at the time and I was very young, and I liked him alot he would regularly visit the complex where I lived at the time, We liked each other very much and he decided to talk to me and with alittle bit of time he decided I was the one for him, He asked my father for my hand in marriage and luckily my dad said yes,I am Mexican he is White and Black Mix, Green Eyes Tall and Very Handsome, I fell for him and he had fallen for me, We Married in November of 1998 in Las Vegas Nevada I was 5 Months Shy of my 17th Birthday he was 27 at the time.
The Move In
When We moved in together things were strange and different for me as I had never lived with anyone else in my life just my parents, I was a depressed teen waiting for an exit and my husband was a young man wanting to finally settle down, Wrong match at the time or bad timing really, We had a good 6 months of love and after that it became co-habitation, fighting for the dumbest things you can imagine, a 17 year old and a 27 year old didnt mix well based on ages and egos aswell as culture we were wrong every way you saw it, everyone thought the same thing this marrage will fail...
2 years into the marriage
I was not getting the attention I needed from my negligent husband, every fight or discussion would lead to isolation for him, the silent treatment, negligence, he was crazy I thought, His friends would come over and he would accuse me of being with them, I was a possesive wife because i relied on him he was the center of my world and every woman was a threat to me, we fought all the time until it became physical, that is where everything became gloomy, Very gloomy I called the police a few times to come and keep the peace and the whole scenario was very sour, I started entertaining myself by chatting online and playing solitaire and cleaning the house while he worked and when he came home I tried to make peace but it was very temporary we would go at it again. it was a crazy cycle.
The Move Out
I moved out in 2000 per my husbands request he had enough of me, I was so possesive this was very painfull as I still loved him so much but I didnt know how to communicate that to him therefore everything that came out of my mouth was sour, before that I had befriended a girl neighbor and we became good friends she made the transition abit easier as she was moving away from the complex she asked me if I wanted to stay with her for a few months, I gladly agreed due to the fact that coming back to my mothers house was going to be very hard with all the explaining to do. My Husband and I would see each other mainly to have sex and come together like friends with benefits, but that caused more pain that anything but I wanted to please him so I did it anyway. Shortly after my friend gave me the bad news that she was moving again to Washington and I was to be left in California I had to go back to my parents, As I continued to see My husband in the interim I got pregnant with my first born and I was as excited as can be. Him Not so Much.
The Birth Of the 1st Born 2002
When My child was Born He came Closer to our life and we moved back in with him, Things became hell after 6 months at his house, I mean Hell.
I believe he was having an affair and he would lock himself in his office room and be there for days, he would go to strip clubs with co-workers and come home after work very late he was a marijuana smoker and was always in a bad mood.
Our Separation that lead to the Divorce
When My son was 1 we moved to my father in law's house and my husband confessed to me that he was in love with me and someone else, he had done this before as a tactic of control, but this time I believed him and made changes to move out, I told him that we only live once and that we must make it count, I left that home and moved into my own place started working and started making decent money, I had everything I needed and more, But I just couldnt stop seeing him after that, I know what you are thinking, but we all fall into that trap.
I started dating other men and he started dating other women this made us drift farther and farther away from each other, even tho we both had failed relationships there was always that bond of love and hate. in 2003 My Husband had another relationship he took serious enough to have a child to me every step of the way was like a dagger but everytime the dagger stabbed me I became stronger and stronger,
he filed for a divorce and hired a bull dog attorney to battle me in court for visitation and custody, I had no money I battled her back with her same docs but entering my info. I won every case thanks to my Lord God.
My Single Life
Being a single Mom really sucks, Financially, and it is emotionally draining but I had to survive, lucky for me I had my parents to help me through all the steps and they were there rain or shine. Thank My father in Heaven for them. I made alot of mistakes and dated quite a bit and went to clubs to dance and hang out, all with the wrong crowds of course, alot of disapointment in the dating world I hated it.
In Oct 2007 I got a phone call
This was from my ex-husbands girlfriend she told me she was no longer together with him, I was shocked and at the same time i felt kind of bad for them because they had lived a good life together or so I thought the picture perfect little family with his daughter and his 2 stepchildren had come apart, he was torn completely torn, this woman had chosen to make some decisions to hurt him by sneaking away with a deputy from court and potentially cheaten on him. Shortly after that I got a call from him letting me know that he was coming to pick up our child for visitation this was strange because the spokesperson was always her she didnt let him speak to me at all, I came outside and saw him he looked down, by this time my mind was in a different place and I had done some growing up, he was outside the gate of my complex and I had to ask him one question wich was the question that changed all things around, I asked "why is it that you and I cant get along?" and he closed his eyes and reluctantly replied "Because you Hurt Me" and he couldnt hold it the burden and pain were too much on his shoulders and he wept and broke down, I know he didnt mean to but it was too much, I had a choice to either laugh or feel compassion for him and I did I had compassion for him.
The Beggining of a New Life
After he had a chance to vent and get it out, we had a chance to talk, we were actually talking after years of court battles and no communication, we spoke about our son and his school achievements and reward program I had developed for him, he was so impressed by my manners and growing up that had taken place in my life that he decided to call me that evening and asked if I could meet my son and him at chuck e cheeses and I had nothing to do so I went we had a good time. His visits became regular considering he was living in San Bernardino coming to Orange County, he felt the need to see his son which brough him joy but he confessed he was not just coming to see my son anymore but me because he enjoyed my company alot, his pa in was leaving more and more each day, we spoke of the past and it was hurtful but little did we know it was a healing process taking place, we were both still dating and seeing other people and as much as he liked coming over I loved escaping and coming over to San Bernardino to stay with him on the weekends we had fun, we hung out like never before, watched movies went out alot and started having intimacy and communication.
God Spoke to Us
We began listening to a radio station in San Bernarnino called KSGN Christian Radio Station and the music subliminally started ministering to my husband and I, we left that station playing day and night every day. we were getting along well and one day just decided to get married again and we did, we married on what would be our 10th year anniversary and we married here in California this time.
Our Move In and Satan Attack to Destroy us once More
we moved in together once again in a house in OC and started having problems again, but this time it was different, we both though we were each otheres enemies and that we had made another mistake, we ended up going to calvary chapel one sunday and didnt feel like home everyone was so cold and nobody noticed if we came in or out.
on our way home I saw a church that I personally had attended in 2005 for a comedy show and I loved it, I asked him if we could go there? he replied yes but we didnt go for 2 sundays because we fought, but Oh happy day the Sunday that we did go because things took a turn for us like a 180 God had a Big plan for us he just needed to give us the memo. We came to church and right away were greeted with love and acceptance and our child was happy to stay with the other children we went into the sanctuary and God spoke to both of as as one and we commited to him 100% My husband stopped smoking marijuana and stopped drinking alcohol Cold turkey, amazing we are talking about a man who smoke marijuana since he was 14 his whole life. We plugged in right away to a group called Married for life... OMG talk about a fun group full of awesome people, awesome marriages and stories and making friends for life...
Our married life is what God wants it to be and we are happy that he is our third strand.
Now we have a new baby boy and a great testimony of what God can Do...
If he did it with us He can do it with you....
SAY NO TO DIVORCE!!!!! KACC.COM
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